


The Riches and The Milkoviches

by cantfuckinbelievethis



Series: One-shots [5]
Category: Shameless (US), The Riches
Genre: Crossover, Debbie's bday party, Gallagher/Milkovich/Malloy/Ball bonding, M/M, MOLLY MILKOVICH IS MENTIONED, Not Really Canon Compliant, Shameless, The Riches - Freeform, grumpy mickey is grumpy, they work at the Kash N Grab but Kash is gone, tumblr inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-21 00:53:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6032275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantfuckinbelievethis/pseuds/cantfuckinbelievethis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pretty much the Malloys find out about Wayne's illegitimate son Mickey Milkovich and go pay him a visit! (Lazy summary).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would describe this as season 2-esque but like things still happened its in the future when they live together and all that? Not really canon compliant because im ignoring season 5 + 6 sorry (except for that one thing about Mickey calling Ian family BUT that could've happened some other time so yep im bitter)

Wayne Malloy had a tendency to screw up. The past few weeks had been more than enough evidence of that. From stealing the family cash to running off to Eden Falls, his whole family had been on edge. However, not even Didi, his daughter and main supporter, could believe how monumentally he had screwed up this time.  
  
The truth came out at another faux family dinner. The still unfamiliar family sit-down had already been an uncomfortable new habit. Wayne’s secret being uncovered only proved to be another tension-filled situation. Sitting down in the house that wasn’t their own, Sam, the youngest, pulled out his most recent hidden find — a candid photograph of a man with dark hair, blue eyes, tattooed knuckles, and _very_ familiar features.  
  
“I found this,” Sam announced timidly when asked what he had done that day. He pressed the photograph down onto the large table, making eye contact with his dad as he slid it into the centre so everyone could have a look.  
  
“What’s that, baby?” Dahlia, the matriarch of the Malloy clan, asked, leaning forward.  
  
“A photo I found in a pocket in Dad’s coats.”  
  
Wayne’s eyes widened in a panic, but before he could grab it, Di got a hold of it first. She studied it for a moment before her eyes widened and she dropped the picture to the table. “Holy shit.”  
  
Cael, the oldest son, frowned and grabbed at the picture as Wayne did, managing to get to it before him. He stared at it for a moment before saying, “What? Who’s this?” He seemed very confused as to why everyone was freaking out about it. As he handed it off to Dahlia, Wayne dropped his head in his hands.  
  
As soon as Dahlia laid eyes on the man in the photo, she looked up at Wayne with a fire in her eyes. “You wanna explain this, Wayne?” she requested tightly. “Who’s this kid and why does he look so much like Cael?!”  
  
Reluctantly, Wayne lifted his head and began to speak. “That…is my son.” The entire table was enveloped in shock. “A year or two before you got pregnant with Cael, remember that we broke up for a while? Yeah, well, I went to Chicago. I was in a bar in the South Side doing some small cons when a woman, Ukrainian, I think, propositioned me.”  
  
“So you’re sayin’ that you went off screwed some buffer bitch?” Dahlia exclaimed, face turning red.  
  
“Wait, Dad,” Di began shakily. “We visited Chicago for a while while Mom was in prison…Is that how you have this photo, did you meet him?”  
  
“I may have…spotted him…from afar.”  
  
“That’s really creepy, Dad,” Cael commented, his head in his hands. “Why did you take a photo of him? Why did we visit Chicago if you didn’t want to talk to him?”  
  
“I was going to bring it up, actually, at a more…just a better time, but I’m thinking of actually having all of us take a road trip.” Wayne appeared confident and expectant, but everyone could feel the nervousness brewing under his surface. After all, they weren’t buffers; they could see past his bullshit.  
  
“A _road trip_? What, we’re gonna all visit your long-lost son? Is that your plan, Wayne? Am I going to meet this buffer woman that you knocked up? That your plan, is it?” Dahlia exploded.  
  
Just from the look on his face, the whole family knew that, yes, this was the plan. And, just like they always did, they were going to end up following along with him.  
  
* *  
  
“Mick, would you come mix this while I take Yevgeny over to Kev and V’s?” Ian asked, glancing repeatedly between the mixing bowl full of cake batter and the baby sitting in its high chair beside him.  
  
“Why the fuck are you even making the cake anyway? Ain’t that Fiona’s job?” Mickey whined as he reluctantly took the handle of the spoon from Ian, glaring into the cake batter as if it had offended him.  
  
“Fiona’s working extra shifts at work just to _pay_ for Debs’ birthday party, so I said we’d provide the cake. It isn’t that fucking hard; just mix it. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”  
  
Lighting a cigarette and placing it in his mouth as he mixed the batter, Mickey mumbled, “Fine, man, whatever, but remember that we gotta be at the Kash N’ Grab at two.”  
  
“Sure,” Ian said as he put Yev on his hip and walked toward the door. Before he shut the door behind him, he called out, “And no smoking near the cake, Mick, _jesus_!”  
  
Mickey rolled his eyes at his boyfriend before taking the cigarette out of his mouth, accidentally dropping ashes into the batter. “ _Fuck_ ,” he drawled, putting out the cigarette.  
  
For a moment, he considered starting over, but quickly thought _fuck that_ and mixed the ashes thoroughly into the cake mix. Who gives a shit if it’s got a little cigarette ash in the cake? Every kid in the fucking South Side starts smoking at age seven anyway. He made a quick self-note to keep the cake away from Liam, though, make up some shit about sugar being bad for kids.  
  
True to his word, Ian was back about ten minutes later. Finishing the cake as Mickey attempted to wrap Debbie’s cheap-ass present, they finished around twenty minutes before they had to start work. Debbie’s party would start at seven-thirty that night so they would have half an hour after work to come home, get changed — though Mickey thought they didn’t have to dress up nice for a _fucking pubescent’s party, Jesus Christ, Ian,_ — and head up to the Gallagher house.  
  
As they walked up to the Kash N’ Grab, Ian pointed out an RV as it passed, saying how unusual it was to see one of them around here. Mickey just thought the stupid fuckers better not leave it parked around here unless they wanted it stolen or to come back and find some homeless guy sleeping in it.  
  
* *  
  
The Malloys managed to find themselves and their RV in the South Side of Chicago in a few days without much trouble. Cael huffed and glanced in the back to see his family sleeping peacefully, taking a drag from his smoke as he bitterly mumbled about having to be the one to drive. As he finished the cigarette and tossed it out the window, he realised it was his last one.  
  
He pulled around the back of a bar called The Alibi Room, parking there since it was the most out of public view. Looking around this place, you could tell someone would probably steal it — with his family inside — not that Cael could really judge. He had noticed a while back there was a convenience store he could get some smokes from, and probably lift a few things while he’s at it.  
Leaving a note for his family, he climbed out of the RV and almost immediately bumped into some drunken old guy stumbling out the back door of the bar.  
  
The greasy man stared at him for a moment, squinting, before spitting, “Fuck outta the way, Milkovich!” The man pushed Cael aside, causing him to stumble from the surprise before staring wide-eyed at the man, eyebrows arched in annoyance. The old dude chuckled a little as he rounded the corner.  
  
Cael shook his head and followed him out of the alleyway. As he turned to walk one way, he saw a guy pop out of a car window and throw a bottle at the drunken guy, shouting, “Fuck you, Gallagher!”  
  
Cael could only assume that the drunken old bastard knew his long-lost brother in some way, since he seemed to mistaken Cael for him. Cael, however, couldn’t give less of a shit about finding his brother. The only good thing to come out of this mess was the chance to feel like a traveller again. But, otherwise, he was about as enthusiastic about this as his father’s other _great ideas_.  
  
Cael quickly rushed to the Kash N’ Grab, wanting to get back before some idiot decided to take the RV for a spin. The door rang as he entered the store, and a redheaded guy around his age glanced at him from behind the counter. And ended up staring at Cael for a bit _too_ long, seeming as if he was trying to figure something out. Cael made his way up to the counter, figuring that this kid also knew his brother, not that he cared. Deeming this dude dumb enough to pull a small con on him, he decided to get his smokes elsewhere and practise an easy enough con. He placed a Snickers bar on the counter.  
  
The redheaded kid glanced down at the candy bar before pushing a few buttons on the register and clearing his throat. “That’ll be a dollar eighty.” His green eyes widened a little when he looked back up at Cael, seeming to realise that he looked familiar. “Hey, do I know you?”  
  
Cael shook his head, keeping an easy smile on his face as he handed the redhead a ten dollar bill. “Don't think so.” When the redhead handed him back his change, Cael sighed. “Ah, look, man, I really don’t want all this change. I mean, I’m sure you can use it more than I can. How about I give you this and you give me back the ten?” He handed the redhead ten one dollar bills as he received the ten dollar bill.  
  
The kid checked his change and shook his head. “You accidentally gave me nineteen.”  
  
“Ah, okay, glad there’s no line. I’d be holdin’ it up like an idiot. Uh, look, how about I add ‘nother dollar and you give me—?”  
  
The redhead was about to hand over a twenty, still looking a little dazed, when a loud voice spoke up, “Jesus, Gallagher, why are you being so fuckin’ stupid?”  
  
Cael rubbed his thumb against his bottom lip in annoyance that he was about to be caught out doing the _simplest con ever_. The cashier, Gallagher, stared in shock at Cael, staring at his lips. Cael frowned, not ready to explain to this guy that he didn’t swing that way. He glanced behind him to see a security guy standing there. Recognising the similar facial features to his own, this guy was a little taller — though that wasn’t saying much — and a lot more built, Cael realised this was his brother.  
  
“This fucker’s tryin’a short change you, Ian,” he pointed out with a glare on his face.  
  
Cael took a step away, and Ian gasped as he saw Cael and the security guard next to one another.  
  
“Holy shit, Mickey, he looks just like you!” Ian said in astonishment.  
  
Mickey and Cael glanced at one another before Mickey rolled his eyes. “He does fuckin’ not. And that’s not the point right now anyway.” He shot Cael a menacing look. “Listen up, Peroxide, you can put the fuckin’ change on the counter and leave, or you can have your spine ripped straight outta your fuckin’ back.”  
Cael, not really in the mood to get into a fight over short-changing and a little pissed off they came all this way for this asshole, dumped the change messily on the counter before turning and striding out. As he left, he caught Ian say, “Ever considered dying your hair?”  
  
Mickey scoffed. “Like I’d ever dye my hair that fucking blonde. And in a fucking bowl-cut, _shit_.”  
  
With a grimace on his face, Cael rushed back to the RV. As he climbed in the back, a guy with a short ponytail and beard eyed him in suspicion as he chucked the rubbish from the bar into a dumpster. Ignoring him and opening the door dramatically, Cael announced, “Alright, Dad, your son’s a prick; time to go home.”  
  
“What?” Wayne mumbled sleepily from the bed up the back.  
  
Everyone else slowly woke as the blonde explained, “I ran into him at that store down the block, an’ he’s an absolute asshole. I say we cut our losses and go home before Hugh decides to fire your ass for this little _vacation_.”  
  
“No,” his father argued, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. “We came all this way to meet my son, so I’m gonna meet my son. I don’t care if he’s an asshole.”  
  
“Aw, c’mon, Dad,” Cael whined, seeming a little frustrated. “What if he wants in on Eden Falls, huh? Like we can afford another liability!”  
  
“Are you _jealous_ , Cael?” Didi teased. “Are you worried that Dad’ll like your twin more?”  
  
“Shut up, Di!”  
  
“No, you shut up, Cael!”  
  
“The both of you shut up!” Dahlia exclaimed before taking a deep breath and putting on a tight smile. “Now, your father says he needs to do this. So we’re _going_ to do this, you hear me?”  
  
With a clenched jaw, Cael leant back against the cabinets of the RV and crossed his arms. Sighing in defeat and raising his eyebrows, he asked, “Well, how the hell are we gonna do this, then?”  
  
“Wait a minute, before that…Where’s Sam?” Didi pointed out and they all scanned the RV nervously to see he was nowhere to be seen.  
  
* *  
  
“Ay, no one seems like they’re gonna be comin’ in anytime soon…” Mickey arched his eyebrows suggestively at Ian, who rolled his eyes.  
  
“C’mon, Mick, we’re not teenagers anymore.”  
  
“Man, you’re seventeen; ain’t that still considered a teenager?” Mickey frowned for a minute, seeming confused. “Wait, when was your birthday last? I mean, you should be at _least_ eighteen by now, right? How the fuck are you not?”  
  
Ian, without looking up from the magazine he was flipping through, shrugged. “Poorly written perception of time and a lack of continuity? Haven’t you noticed your tattoos have looked totally different this past year, less like they were drawn on by a child and more like actual tattoos?” (*crashing through the fourth wall like a wrecking ball*)  
  
“Fuck you, Gallagher,” Mickey said with no venom and studied his knuckles. “Well, _shit._ ”  
  
“Plus, we don’t really have time to even start having sex because we will get interrupted anyway. Right about…now.”  
  
As if by magic, or lack of homosexual representation, a kid came through the door. Luckily, this child didn’t catch them with their pants around their ankles, although that would be really _shameless_ , wouldn’t it?  
  
Without hesitation, the kid stormed up to Mickey and said, “Hi, I’m Sam. I’m your brother.”  
  
Mickey’s face scrunched up and he barked, “What the fuck are you talkin’ ‘bout?”  
  
* *  
  
“So, what exactly’s the plan?” Didi panted as the whole family ran to the store on foot. “Are we Malloys or Riches?”  
  
“Riches,” Wayne responded as they rounded the corner. The store was in their sight. “Just like we’ve been this entire time.”  
  
Cael entered the store first, practically shoving the door away. Not really trusting Mickey to be nice to Sam, he came in expecting something he’d have to throw a few punches for. Instead he came across Ian showing Sam how the cash register worked while Mickey sat down rubbing his lip, seeming a little distraught.  
  
Mickey glanced up and stood as soon as the family entered. Eyeing Wayne, he took a few steps forward. “So, you’re my dad, then, huh, _Doug_?”  
  
“Mick…” Ian trailed off, seeming to be giving a warning.  
  
It seemed he had good reason to be wary since Mickey threw a hard punch into Wayne’s jaw. “You piece of shit!” He got a few more in before Cael dragged him off and shoved him away. Ian grabbed his shoulder to keep him from moving, but Mickey just shrugged it off and continued, “You fucking asshole! You knock my mom up, and then leave her and me with her piece of shit husband?”  
  
“Mick, c’mon, let’s just go and have a quick talk in the freezer, a’ight?” Ian suggested soothingly, coming around the counter to grab his shoulder.  
  
“ _Ian, why is Mickey throwing punches at customers?! IAN?!_ ” Linda’s voice came over the loud speaker. “ _And why does that blonde kid look eerily like a Milkovich? We don’t need any more goddamn Milkoviches_.”  
  
Ian made a face and turned off the speaker, dragging Mickey into the back and calling out, “Watch everything for me, will ya, Sam?”  
  
* *  
  
“Mickey, if they really are your family, you’ve gotta talk to them.”  
  
“Well, excuse the fuck outta me, Gallagher, but when you found out you were a fucking half sibling or whatever, I didn’t see you trying to _connect_. And like I want to talk to any fucking Northside jackasses, anyway.”  
  
Ian smirked a little. “I don’t think they’re from Chicago.”

“No matter where they’re from, they’re fucking Northside material.” Mickey avoided Ian’s eyes, rubbing his lip with his thumb.  
  
Ian grabbed Mickey’s hand, pulling it away from his mouth and forcing him to make eye contact. “Mick, just give them a chance, okay? It’s not like they’re coming to get you and take you away. You’re an adult. This isn’t the CPS dragging you off. This is family.”  
  
“Family means a whole different thing to you fucking Gallaghers than it does to me.”  
  
Grabbing the back of Mickey’s neck with his hand and pulling him closer, Ian smiled a little. “Does it, really? Because I seem to remember you saying that we’re family…”  
  
Mickey rolled his blue eyes, making a face. “That’s different.”  
  
Ian gave him a small peck on the lips before pulling his puppy dog face. “Please tell me you’re gonna give them a chance. They could even come to Debs’ party tonight!”  
  
“They’re not crashing your sister’s fucking birthday, man; no way!” Mickey stared at Ian challengingly and Ian did the same, chin raising dangerously. Sighing deeply, Mickey caved, “A’ight, if Little Red’s cool with it, then I’ll fucking invite them. Anything to avoid getting the chin.”  
  
Ian grinned a little and lowered his chin, kissing him again before making his way out to the front of the store. “You’re all invited to a party!”  
  
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Mickey breathed before following Ian out of the freezer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning that there are references to 3x06 in here and also probably all of them is OOC af but I did my best. Also, Mickey's probably a bit politically incorrect when talking about Sam and how Sam dresses in "feminine" clothing more than "masculine" clothing. Also there's some violence!

“I’m telling you, Dad, this is a _bad_ idea,” Cael spoke up as they approached the house they had gotten the address to. “Crashing Mickey’s friend’s sister’s party? Seems a little desperate.”   
  
“Shut up, Cael,” Didi immediately responded, balancing the present they stole in one arm and a platter of store-bought cookies in the other.   
  
“Baby, why’d you do three different kinds of nail polish tonight?” Dahlia asked Sam, staring at his nails. “I keep tellin’ you, the maximum should be two. It doesn’t balance out otherwise.”   
  
“I couldn’t decide between pink or green, and I definitely wanted blue.”   
  
“Whatever, Sammy, you look great. Didi, you look beautiful. Baby, you look fabulous. And Cael…” Wayne trailed off looking at Cael in his usual t-shirt and dirty jeans. “You look…genuine. I think we’ll be alright. I mean, we pulled off that big con with Rudy before, right? We can do a little neighbourhood barbecue.”   
  
They all jumped as there seemed to be an explosion behind the house and a chorus rang out of, “ _CARL_!”   
  
* *   
  
Fifteen minutes later, the Malloys were spread out across the party. Sam and Didi were hanging out with Carl and Debbie and Debbie’s few friends in the pool, Wayne and Dahlia were mingling with Kev, who was supervising his children and Yev, and Cael had been cornered by Fiona, V, Mandy, and Svetlana.   
  
“So strange,” Fiona commented, scanning Cael’s face.   
  
“Yes, looks just like piece of shit husband, but…somehow paler. Think it is blonde hair. Looks a bit like Yevgeny, yes?” Svetlana agreed, glancing back at her kid who was on Ian’s hip now.   
  
“Like Mickey…but cleaner.” V arched an eyebrow and took a sip of her beer, seeming a little creeped out by it all.   
  
“Ay, I’m plenty fuckin’ clean!” Mickey, apparently hearing that comment, called out from beside the pool where Ian was now putting Yev in Debbie’s arms.   
  
“Yeah, you finally got your act together!” V exclaimed back.   
  
Ian smirked a little, eyeing Mickey. “He’s respectable now.”   
  
Cael just shrunk in his seat, trying to turn invisible so they would stop bothering him.   
  
* *   
  
“You should go over and talk to him, or at least save him from the girls,” Ian suggested in a low voice. “I can stay here with Yev.”   
  
“Ian, I invited them to the party; what more do you want?”   
  
“Well, actually _I_ invited them to the party; _you_ did fuck all. And if you’ve invited them here, I expect you to at least _speak to them_. Why not start with your brother?”   
  
Mickey huffed and strode over bow-leggedly to his _brother_. “Ay, ladies, I know that you’re all glad there’s someone here close to my standards that you can finally hit on, but mind not fuckin’ scarin’ the kid?” Fiona, Svet, and V all scoffed before walking off chattering. Mickey rolled his eyes and turned to Cael. “Fuckin’ chatty females.” He awkwardly took a seat in the lawn chair next to Cael, who tried to avoid eye contact.   
  
“So…” Cael began uncomfortably. “Svetlana’s nice.”   
  
Mickey snorted with a smirk, glancing at his wife. “Yeah, I guess you could call her that. Gotta be charming if you’re suckin’ guys off everyday, I guess.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“She’s a hooker, man.”   
  
“Oh…okay…” Cael didn’t seem to know where to go from there. “So how long you’ve known Ian?”   
  
Mickey whistled lowly. “Wow. Loaded question…Everything between us has always been a little foggy and hard to keep track of. I think you could say we properly knew each other five years ago…? But we played in little league together and saw each other around the neighbourhood.”   
  
“How’d you and Svetlana meet?” Didi asked as she approached them, seeming a little eager for the story. “How’d you ask her to marry you? Was Yev after or before the proposal?”   
  
For a moment Mickey just stared at her like she was nuts. “Why the fuck are you asking me about fuckin’ Svet like it’s a fuckin’ rom-com?”   
  
“Because she’s your _wife_?” Didi frowned.   
  
Mickey let out a few guffaws, remembering that they didn’t know shit and just assumed they knew what everyone else did. “Yeah, well, Ian? He’s my boyfriend.”   
  
“ _What_?”   
  
Ian joined them, sitting on the grass with Yev in his lap. “Long story, but pretty much Mickey was forced to marry Svet by his piece of shit father.”   
  
“I was almost married off to a guy I didn’t want to marry!” Didi commented. She seemed to want to relate to Mickey more than Cael or Sammy. She was desperate to connect to Mickey; family was always so important to her.   
  
Ian frowned. “Why?”   
  
“Traveller life is rough when it comes to that sort of stuff,” she said and both Ian and Mickey frowned as Cael choked on his drink.   
  
Ian looked pleasantly surprised, though, even maybe a bit excited. “You guys are travellers?!”   
  
Cael exhaled deeply before hesitantly saying, “Yes.”   
  
Mickey’s eyebrows arched and Cael was freaked out for a second when he realised he’d seen that expression many times before in the mirror. “ _Doug_ told me you guys were fuckin’ rich.”   
  
The blonde scratched the back of his neck. “Well, _Wayne_ talks bullshit a lot.” Cael shot a mocking smile at his brother.   
  
“Fuck. Well…what the fuck?”   
  
Apparently Wayne had heard as he sighed exhaustedly before explaining the whole situation, hoping his long-lost son didn’t think less of them, or worse, tell anyone. By the end of the story, all of the Gallaghers and their guests were seated around them.   
  
“Wow…” Ian breathed before bursting out laughing. “They’re just as bad as us, Mick! And here was you thinkin’ they were like Northsiders.”   
  
“They’re livin’ like them, ain’t they?” Mickey grumbled into his beer.   
  
* * *   
  
While Cael told Carl, Lip, Mickey, and Ian about his scam at school, Didi smiled a little at how he talked about it. Even though it was a totally shit idea, Di could see how proud Cael was at doing a larger scam on his own and how he was weirdly eager to share it with the Gallaghers and Milkoviches. Her brother didn’t warm up to people easily, so it made her happy to see that at least he was getting better with these guys.   
  
“Shit, Mickey 2.0 beat the system,” Lip commented, smirking a little.   
  
“Before he got caught and kicked out of school,” Didi scoffed. There was something about Lip that annoyed her, but she couldn’t put her finger quite on what it was.   
  
“I still beat the system, Di, and I ain’t Asshole 2.0!” Cael barked. Mickey didn’t bother responding to that insult; he just rolled his eyes and sipped his drink.   
  
“Why did you even invite your long-lost family, Milkovich?” Lip rolled his eyes.   
  
“Actually, I invited them,” Ian said, a little indignantly. He sat up straighter in his chair, ready to shut Lip up if need be. He wasn’t going to let him ruin this for Mickey.   
  
“Only because you were hoping for a threesome or some shit,” Lip snorted, taking another sip of his drink.   
  
“Lip, what the fuck?!” Ian snapped.  
  
Fiona quickly scurried over and pulled the beer bottle away from Lip’s mouth. “You’re cut off until you stop being an inappropriate asshole.” She smiled awkwardly at the Malloy siblings before heading back over to V and Kev, Dahlia and Wayne.   
  
“Ay, so what’s this Brent kid like?” Mickey smirked in delight at Cael’s horrified look. “You bangin’ him? Or were you just in it for the ‘koosh’?” Mickey had been using a lot of the traveller slang that Sammy had taught him earlier in the night, while Sammy had been pleased to learn a few words of Ukrainian from Mickey.   
  
“I’m not gay,” Cael snapped, realising Mickey was just pushing his buttons.   
  
“Don’t get salty, sweetie,” Kev laughed from the stairs. “We don’t give a shit who you bang.” He shot a sly wink at Mickey.   
  
“Well, that’s real nice of you, but I’m not gay,” Cael shot back.   
  
“I bet you have shit taste in women,” Ian commented thoughtfully, eyeing Cael critically.   
  
Cael shrunk a little under Ian’s scrutiny. He liked the guy, sure, but he was weirdly intimidating. He gave off a very intense vibe, especially when he was around Mickey.   
  
Didi snorted. “ _That’s_ true.”   
  
“Shut _up_ , Di,” Cael growled grumpily, huffing.   
  
* * *   
  
After they had eaten, all the kids were heading back into the pool. Sam commented about the Rich’s/Malloy’s pool being bigger at home and suggesting the Gallaghers visit sometime to have a pool party, before he scurried off back to the pool, leaping into it.   
  
“So…What’s up with that kid?” Mickey asked carefully.   
  
Cael and Didi’s eyes both narrowed dangerously before Didi asked, “What do you mean by that?”   
  
“He, like, a cross dresser or what?” Mickey lacked what some may call tact.   
  
“We let him wear what he wants to wear and be what he wants to be,” Cael said, his tone warning.   
  
“Oh, yeah, we have a little half-sibling like that! Molly.” Mandy smiled warmly at the Malloys. “And…I guess we have another one now.” Her warm smile turned to Sam as she watched him play in the pool with the other kids. After a moment, she turned back to Didi and asked, “Hey, c’mon, I wanna ask you a few questions. I’m sick of being in a family full of fucking men.”   
  
Mickey rolled his eyes as Didi and Mandy strode off, Debbie climbing out of the pool after them.   
  
* * *   
  
Debbie, Mandy, Didi, and Sammy were doing their toenails together, laughing and talking on the couch after Debbie’s friends had gone home. Fiona had invited the Malloys to sleep in their lounge room as their RV was still behind the Alibi and they were exhausted. No matter how much Cael had protested, Fiona wouldn’t listen and had just set up some blankets.   
  
Kev and V had gone home, Svetlana had taken Yev home, and Liam had gone to bed. Fiona, Lip, Mickey and Ian, Carl, Cael, Dahlia and Wayne were sitting around the kitchen table, drinking and talking about their lives. Dahlia and Fiona were swapping prison stories and random survival tips, and Ian, Mickey, and Cael watched as Lip and Wayne argued about who was the better scammer. Before, the five of them had been laughing and sharing con stories, but quickly enough, it had become competitive between Lip and Wayne.   
  
“The only way I’ve ever made money is to steal it or scam it!” Lip cried out. “I’ve been doing it my whole life! What did you say he was, Dahlia?”   
  
“A half-breed, sweetheart,” Dahlia responded from the other side of the table before continuing to talk to Fi.   
  
“Exactly! You were living a ‘buffer’ life for too long to be better than me!”   
  
“You’re a buffer right now, dumb ass,” Cael pointed out and Mickey snorted.   
  
“Look, I don’t think we need any input right now from fuckin’ Mickey 2.0,” Lip barked drunkenly.   
  
“I tricked an entire community and a business into thinking I’m a rich lawyer,” Wayne said calmly. “I never even graduated high school and I’m making six figures. Give it up, kid.”   
  
“You’re a fuckin’ asshole,” Lip replied. He was wasted, alright? It was the best he could come up with in that state.   
  
“Jesus Christ,” Mickey huffed, rolling his eyes.   
  
“Hey, maybe you should come and see how the other half lives, learn a few things,” Wayne suggested mockingly to Lip, which Ian frowned at.   
  
The entire night, Ian had been getting more and more frustrated as Wayne and Mickey had yet to have a conversation alone. Neither Wayne nor Mickey seemed bothered by that fact and seemed more than comfortable to share a few comments between them within a larger group. It wasn’t exactly the reunion Ian had been hoping for when he invited the Malloys.   
  
Then again, maybe this was just Ian again thinking what he would want would be what everyone would want too. He was slightly horrified at the thought that maybe he was sort of acting the way Lip did when Ian met his real father. He shook the thought away, knowing that he wasn’t being as bad as Lip. He did decide to back off a little and let Mickey handle it himself.   
  
* * *   
  
Lip had passed out upstairs along with Carl who had been sneaking beers all night. Sammy, Mandy, Didi, and Debbie were all asleep in Debbie’s room, squashed up on the floor. Dahlia and Fiona had gone up to Fiona’s room to chat, mainly to leave the boys some time to talk. Ian had been wanting to give them some privacy, but Mickey had grabbed his hand and shot him a look that only Ian would recognise as vulnerable. Ian immediately sat back down next to him.   
  
“So…what was your childhood like, then?” Mickey asked Cael bitterly.   
  
Cael looked uncomfortable for a bit before asking, “Why does that matter?”   
  
“It matters.”   
  
Cael shrugged after a moment, sending a look to Wayne before speaking, “Well, I grew up in the camp and on the road…We scammed and stole because we’re poor as shit, but I love being a traveller. It’s like one big-ass family, even if some of them are assholes.”   
  
Mickey rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb and Ian put his hand on Mickey’s thigh comfortingly. “But…you were happy?”   
  
He nodded. “Yeah.”   
  
Mickey nodded, too, making a strange mirror image of the younger man. “Yeah,” he repeated and Ian was once again struck by how similar they were.   
  
“Listen, Mickey, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am,” Wayne began hesitantly. “I guess I didn’t think about it when I left. I just knew I loved Dahlia and wanted to have a family with her.”   
  
Mickey nodded for a moment, thinking before he spoke for once, “I guess I get it…sort of. I mean, when Yev was born, I probably would’ve dropped him in a heart beat if Ian was leaving or something. Fuckin’ different situation, though, and it’s different now.”   
  
Wayne and Cael still didn’t really know the events around Yevgeny’s conception, and they didn’t ask. Any mention of it made the room immediately tense and Ian always touched Mickey in some way when it did. Like he was comforting him.   
  
“Yeah,” Wayne agreed, even though he wasn’t quite sure what he was agreeing to.   
  
Out of nowhere, there was a big bang on the door, and some nonsensical yelling.   
  
“What the fuck?” Mickey growled before heading to the door.   
  
“Wayne Malloy, you get your ass out here right now before I kill you!” Dale’s voice bellowed from the other side of the door.   
  
Before the Malloys could stop him, Mickey slammed the door open and pulled his gun out of his back pocket, pointing it in Dale’s face. Ian raced over to the door, flanking Mickey as they both glared at Dale. They looked like a fuckin’ force to be reckoned with, and Dale knew it.   
  
He gulped, frowning a little. “Cael?”   
  
Mickey cocked his gun. “Wrong one, motherfucker.”   
  
“Hold on.” Ian frowned at Dale. “Do I know you?”   
  
Dale shook his head nervously, still eyeing the gun in his face. “No, I don’t think so.”   
  
“Better fuckin’ not,” Mickey barked.   
  
Dale gaped something behind him, and Mickey glanced behind him to see Cael and Wayne standing behind him, glowering at Dale. He arched his eyebrows before turning back with a little smirk on his face as he remembered their stories.   
  
“This Dale?” When Cael and Wayne nodded in response, Mickey pistol-whipped Dale, causing him to fall off the porch.   
  
Mickey followed Dale, throwing in another kick to his stomach. When he groaned loudly, the others raced out of the house. Fiona, Debbie, Ian, Cael, Didi, and Sammy watched with wide eyes as Mickey threw a few more punches at Dale. Carl and Mandy were just grinning, not even needing to know who Mickey was beating the shit out of.   
  
“Stay the fuck away from my family!” Mickey snarled at a nearly unconscious Dale before turning back to see Ian smirking at him. “Oh, shut the fuck up, Gallagher.”   
  
He threw an arm around Ian and led him back inside through the group, hearing Debbie cry out behind him, “This is the _most badass party ever_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to this post again for the dialogue between lip and wayne: http://grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com/post/104240021348/can-we-please-talk-about-riches-x-shameless 
> 
> Also! The end is kinda silly but i don't know i wanted mickey to beat up dale and this is meant to be a fun! fic so i couldn't keep the deep conversation going for too long
> 
> The next chapter is the last one and I'm not sure how long ill be


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Much like The Riches, this ends on a cliff hanger sort of!)

Mickey and Cael stood awkwardly across from each other as the two families, that seemed to be best fucking buds now, hugged and said their goodbyes. They themselves weren’t much for the whole touchy goodbye. That didn’t stop a few people from wrapping them up in their arms, even Dahlia had seemed to warm up to Mickey enough to give him a good squeeze.  
  
“It was nice to meet you, baby,” she said warmly. “Y’all are always welcome over at our place if you ever find yourself in Eden Falls.”  
  
“We will if you really have that pool!” Carl cried and Fiona elbowed him.  
  
“Mickey, you have to promise to visit,” Sammy said solemnly.  
  
Mickey stared at him for a moment before sighing and saying, “Yeah, sure.”  
  
Sam beamed in response before going over to talk to Ian for a while. Didi just gave him a pat on the shoulder and a smile before continuing on to Mandy.  
  
Wayne just nodded awkwardly and said, “See you around, Mick.”  
  
They all turned to head off and Ian smiled as they waved. He whispered to Mickey, “Your brother is pretty cute.”  
  
“What the fuck, Ian,” Mickey laughed before dragging him back into the Gallagher house.  
  
* * *  
  
It was a few weeks later that Mickey got a call. However, since Mickey was taking a shower at the time, Ian hesitated for a second, but answered it himself. “Hello?”  
  
“Mickey?” a voice whispered that Ian immediately recognised.  
  
“Didi? This is Ian…”  
  
“Ian, please, can I speak to Mickey?”  
  
Ian frowned before turning around to head into the shower, but Mickey had already come out. Ian handed the phone to him, telling him who it was. Mickey frowned in confusion but took the phone.  
  
“Yo, what’s up? How’d you get this number?” Mickey asked, more warmly that he’d like to admit. Didi had been one of his favourites of the Malloys.  
  
Ian tried to eavesdrop, but the sound on the phone was too quiet, so he just waited anxiously for Mickey to tell him what was going on. Mickey’s face was slowly dropping more and more into a scowl and that made Ian worry. Finally, Mickey hung up and turned to Ian.  
  
“Mick, what is it? What’s wrong?” Ian asked, stepping closer.  
  
“Cael’s fuckin’ gone missing…Didi knew that Iggy was good at tracking people down so she asked if we could come up there and find him.”  
  
“Are you going to do it?” Ian asked, hoping Mickey would. To Ian, they were family, but if Mickey didn’t want to do it, he wouldn’t push him.  
  
“Man, of course I’m going to do it. They’re fuckin’ family.”  
  
Ian smiled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “Just like me.”  
  
The brunette nodded. “Yeah.”  
  
“So that’s why I’m coming with you.”  
  
Mickey pulled back, arching an eyebrow. “Are you?”  
  
Ian nodded vehemently. “Of course. They’re family, just like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I know this is a crappy ending but im not feeling the best and I just wanted this fic to be done! If anyone wants to continue it, feel free but this is where it's ending for me. Thanks for reading though and I'll probably be starting a new (angsty) fic soon!

**Author's Note:**

> So pretty much I have nothing to do all day so i was watching the riches for the billionth time and then looked up cael malloy on tumblr and saw all of these great ideas about a crossover! 
> 
> here are the ones that inspired me: 
> 
> http://grumblesandmumbles.tumblr.com/post/104240021348/can-we-please-talk-about-riches-x-shameless  
> http://yousweetdollopofspicygoodness.tumblr.com/post/104458605952/okay-okay-okay-but-what-if-the-malloys-ended-up-in


End file.
